She is....

Her heart is an ocean of secrets. Her life a book so closed
Her mind filled with plethora of words and face that holds the expressions that cannot be told
Her hands that felt a baby’s touch, have knead dough, have touched a rose petal
Her hands that have fixed a bulb, helped an ailing fellow, and cleaned and dusted the home
She lives by her rules.

Works equally hard to prove herself, never letting anyone to undermine her. She believes and lives by her individualism.

When she chooses to give in it takes a strength of mettle
Her giving up and giving in comes from her acute understanding of maintaining a balance in life and that consideration is because she is a nurturer, a giver, a soul-bearer, with a fierce belief in her worth and self.
Clothes and shoes don’t define her. She is a definition by herself.
Her pain, her sorrows are her own. It takes an equal partner who would dive deep into her heart and mind to feel her.
She doesn’t thrive on acknowledgement or gratitude. To win her, you, need to rise to her level

Keep her because if not she is a woman who will find her own path eventually.

Her Hands!!!

Her hands that held the softness of her baby’s skin!
Her hands that caressed her child’s cries
Her hands that washed the poos and puke yet tendered and nurtured her growing one
Her hands that made food with love and care… and fed those hungry tummies
Her hands that hugged and fostered a terrified child and her imaginary demons in the bright nights
Her hands that played with toys and, pushed her cheerful child on the swing and relentlessly pressed the sea saw when she happily screamed ‘higher, higher’.
Her hands that were never held back when she had to discipline her stubborn one yet calmly hugged and embraced later

Her hands now wrinkled and crinkly and her child now a woman but still those hands make the lip smacking food that is simple but heart- warming
Her hands still gently caress her girl’s hair when she is tired and felt failed
Her hands still touch a part of her girl when all seems lost
Her hands still wait to feel her girl’s face
Her hands still gives warmth and strength
Her hands never ceases to lose that love
Her hands are that of a Mother!!
  

Mommy brains and food in-between

Am a meat and fish eating woman married into a traditional home of no meat eating only pure greens family. Well, one reason I married my husband because I fell in love with him and of course because like me he too loves the taste of sliced chicken and fish curry.  So entering a home where veggies and pulses is relished and chicken and meat abhorred was a tough call but then love conquers all. But then you are still fine as long as you eat out and no meat cooked at home.

But marriage also brings in children and how about wanting to feed your off spring a slice of fresh Basa and a roasted chicken. Indian homes are traditional and there is a clear divide between meat eaters and no meat. It’s an eternal battle between the ones wanting to save the plants and the ones wanting to save the wild life. Well, but when it comes to motherhood it’s only the battle of feeding the food that what you feel is right. And so there came a time when, I felt to introduce to my offspring that which I love and enjoy eating, and I know has its merits too specially made by me in my kitchen.  So how do I solve this, not hurting the cultural obligations of my in-laws and yet making my offspring enjoy variety of foods? Quiet a dilemma isn’t it?

‘When you have no answers leave it to God!’ in this case when I didn’t have any answer I left it to my paediatrician. So it was a simple task. Make the doctor say what I wanted to hear. All children we know are fussy eaters. No child eats what is fed and they all irrespective to age thrive on junk. And all grand parents and parents think that their child is the thinnest and needs to be fed all the food so that they gain weight. Even with studies showing on myriad of information on food and eating still when it comes to age old thinking you can never fight the adage. There is no guarantee in getting an advice that which says, ‘the doctor doesn’t know anything. We have also raised kids. What does the doctor know?’ huh! Quite a pain point. Yet, I decided to take my chances.  

So I marched to the paediatrician with my toddler and my mom-in-law for his routine check-up and took out my favourite topic that all the paediatrics wants to be saved of hearing.so this is how the conversation goes. Me- ‘he isn’t eating properly. Is his weight fine? Should I introduce something else? Him- ‘no, he is fine. Look he is so active.’ Me- ‘but his weight is on the lower side of the average. So now when I speak his language, the doc takes me seriously. Him-‘every 4 hours a meal is good with all veggies and pulses.’ Me- ‘anything on his protein intake? He hates milk as well.’  Him- ‘you can start giving him chicken. Boiled chicken, stock is very healthy.’ Yipeeee, first hurdle crossed. I can feel my mother-in-law go red. But I continue. ‘Thank you we say and leave.’

When we reached home, I told everything to my man verbatim. Well, he is my partner in crime. And being the sportsperson that he is who was fed eggs as major source of energy was more than willing to have his son being fed all that his wife thought was important. All the while his mother giving us disapproving glances. But when it came to her grandchild and his health even her traditions I guess went for a toss and finally relented to my paediatrics mind- twisted advice and her son’s last say!

Finally, we have an amalgamated family who love and cherish and respect each other’s flavours and practices. Well, my offspring surely has grown to love his fish and chicken simultaneously loving his greens as well. His grand mom is happy seeing his eat still fretting on his weight. My man is happy with what is laid on his plate and for me, in between my nursery rhymes I am a happy mom, thanks to my mommy brains! 

Come fall in love with #Pondicherry!!

A small yet mysterious Union territory tucked along the eastern coast of Southern India, Pondicherry or Puducherry as called by locals is a contrasting blend of French flavour with Indian culture. One of the largest French colonies in India with a strong French influence this archaeological town is a nest of serenity and mystery.

From history and antiquity to peace and spirituality to flora and fauna, the place offers something for everyone.

War Memorial is a monument dedicated in the memory of the soldiers who lost their lives in the First World War. The centre of the memorial is four white pillars and a stone figure of a soldier holding a gun. The beauty of this structure is further embellished with the lush greenery surrounding it and the morning sun shining brightly embellishing it with its hues. The ambience is peaceful and enticing giving a feeling of pride and emotions seeing the generation paying homage and respect for the brave ones.

The Pondicherry museum houses some of the splendid collections of sculptures and effigies. This museum houses the remains of archaeological findings from the Arikamedu Roman settlement. History and legendary French colonial also is a part of the museum.  Bronze sculptures of god and goddess, a wide gathering of temple lamps, handicrafts and art are also here. Some specimens of Chola and Pallava art from Pondicherry and Karaikal are displayed in the sculpture gallery.

Also on display is a primitive type of bow and arrow besides choppers, daggers, walking sticks with camouflaged weapons, iron and wooden gadgets and a boomerang. The oldest piece on display is a rusted sword (fashioned like the Roman swords) retrieved from a burial urn in Ousoudou village not far from Puducherry.

Located at the end of Beach road is a 3- meter high statue of Dupleix, built to honour Francois Dupleix, who governed Pondicherry till 1754. It is constructed over beautiful costly granite columns at the Place du Republique. The Statue of Dupleix overlooks the pretty children’s park. The statue is a must to be visited in the evening with it is illuminated against the backdrop of the setting sun.

The Botanical Garden is a beautiful tourist attraction. The garden encloses a good collection of exotic and rare plants and also houses an aquarium. It has a diverse collection of plant species from many parts of India as well as from abroad. The aquarium displays many sea living organisms including variety of fish flora. Apart from this the garden also has dancing fountains and children`s park which has a small toy train that passes through the tunnels, bridges and artificial waterfalls which are created to decorate the garden.

If you wish to spend quality time in solitary contemplating the pristine surrounding then Paradise Beach, with its cool breeze and golden sand serves as a resting hub. The view of the sunrise is amazing from the shore. You can either bask in the sun on the crystal like soft sands of the beach or swim in the cold water of Bay of Bengal. A stream on one side of the beach enriches the beauty of this place. This is really a secluded beach to relax. 

One of the most mystic charms of Pondicherry is the Auroville. A spiritual experimental township this place is a paradise for people who value inner peace and enjoy meditation. Auroville is a spiritual community with emphasis on individualism and harmony, whose ethos is based on the teachings of Sri Aurobindo and his revered Mother Mirra Richard, popularly known as Maa. More than thousands of people from all around the world live in this ashram round the year.  A gilt geodesic dome in the heart of Auroville, covered by round, concave steel plates with thin gold leafs encased in glass seems to reflect solar luminosity back to its source. This golden globe appears like a sun emerging from the earth.

So come and soak the vividness of Pondicherry and live an experience.

Individualism! Just a word or a meaning in itself?

Man they say is a social animal. We live socially. We tend to be social and with social media each one of us are inclined to be in the realm of social reservations and expectations. From a tender age we teach children to make friends. We tend to push their boundaries to play in groups. We make children think of ‘we’ group rather than ‘I’. We ingrain the need for social acceptance among our children.

We talk about each child to be unique yet subconsciously we develop a clone of them one way or the other. And in the process the child loses his individualism and uniqueness within the spectrum of social obligations. Surely, in some point in our lives we need inter-dependency but with that co-existence come responsible and polite demeanour and rejection and shaming of self and family is a complete no. So the child rather accepts norms and works in the demesne of collective harmony.

Is it possible to draw an in-between these two paradoxes? Can we co-exist within ourselves having both these values ingrained in us? To survive within these two values means compromising yourself. Can the delicate balance of the two keep peace and togetherness? 

Emulating the collective congruence means going with the herd. If the mind set that a group performs better than an individual puts the individualism to shame, then why Messi, Diego Maradona or Franz Beckenbauer the greatest footballer or why is Sachin and Dhoni revered as great cricketers when all these are team games. And yet some of the most celebrated sportsman are from games played by an individual.

Thoughts when germinated into an idea and took shape of multi-dollar business indeed came from individuals and never teams. Leaders became institutions because they stood true to their individualism and unbending attitude towards their own goals.  

The world needs individualism, people who relentlessly work on the ‘I’ than bog down to the coward spec of the ‘we’. There is no dishonour in withholding yourself above everything and everyone because that is all that can make you happy.